"Diaspora Blues"

12 years had passed since I first left my hometown, leaving for the world waiting to be explored. It was not really my choice to leave my loving family and friends, but rather a decision taken by my parents, who like any other parents of my hometown, tried to get a better place for their children to take up higher education. It was not just the lack of good educational institutes back home which prompted them to take such decisions. I believe decisions were taken more so because of the poor law and order situation that sadly prevails to this day. Somehow, the teenage urge of mine did not make me bother about leaving home. Rather, it gave me a huge sense of excitement over the thought of seeing new places, meeting new people and experiencing new aspects of life. In fact, true to my pre-occupied thoughts, the experience of life that followed was truly amazing and had me travel places. I was happy, and a bit naïve too, as I was yet to learn about the dark side of it all. Soon enough, I learned about my status and have since been singing this song of Diaspora blues- longing for the day when we all could go home and settle down near loved ones. However much I pray that day cometh soon, it never seems to get nearer as more and more people like me leaves their homes, travelling to cities far and wide either to study, or to eke out a living- in Diaspora, the idea of getting out of the blue eluding me time and again.

Over the years, I have travelled to many parts of India both for academic and work-related activities. Wherever I went, I always felt like one responsible citizen trying to understand this complex yet beautifully woven fabric called India. My thoughts apart, what people I met along the way thought about me, could have been a different matter altogether. I have met people who at the first sight of me thought I was a ‘Chinni’, ‘Japani’ and the classic first impression- that of a ‘Nepali’; which most of us Non-Nepalese from the North East region abhor to be called [Thought the fact is; in Nepal, people could be living better lives than most of us from the economically-backward North Eastern Region of India, and a visitor from Kathmandu may feel more accepted in mainland India (as generally observed) because of the closer religious and linguistic affinities]. The most annoying part is when, after an attempt to clarify doubts in a modest Hindi, some would sit back and listen, while some would, satisfied with your Hindi, interrupt in between your words and tell you, “ Ah, there you go, I knew it! You are no doubt Nepali”. At such an instance, it is up to your wise thinking or conscience whether to clarify more or laugh it off and leave them behind along the road. I remember I opted a lot of time, for the former and tried until I have put some knowledge in them about India’s geography and the human races dwelling on it.  That was a long time back, and I had long given up such explanations unless I find in people an honest interest to learn more about me or the rest of Indians who look like me.

My dear friends from the mainland who empathize with me would often tell me with regret about how there are still such people among us Indians who would feign ignorance about the diversity of our nation and rather stay safe in the cocooned narrow knowledge of the ‘Hindi’ world. I am not sure if my friends wanted me to continue explaining my identity to an unconfirmed number of random ignorant people I would come across in life. There are over a billion Indians and I just cannot help thinking of the fact that I have to be prepared to explain myself as much as a billion times. Yes, it is true that I will never come across that much of ignorant people. Yet, one never knows how much explanation needs to be given in due course of time, if one has to accept that explanation is better than ignoring.

Once in a while, we get to learn of the atrocities committed against our ‘race’ of Indians in different parts of the country. It is sad to learn that the common people cannot understand that we form that beautiful pattern on the Indian fabric, which the government and its agents have concurrently tried to help us identify with. Recent developments saw hordes of people from the North East fleeing certain cities of India at a time when MC Mary Kom brought laurels to the country. MC Mary Kom winning the Olympic bronze medal or people fleeing cities could represent hugely contrasting headlines altogether. Needless to say, both surely have no ends to meet and are totally independent of each other as events of the day. Similarly, widely circulated “sms threats” were not enough an obstacle to keep me from taking a trip to join my duty at work. It is ironic that I took the flight to Delhi just when thousands of youths from the north-east region were fleeing their bases in mainland India. 

I spent the waiting hours at the airport watching news reports on these developments. I thought about the fate that we have put ourselves in, or rather; complex situations that petty politics have brought us into and was a little apprehensive about taking my trip which would take me to interior areas of mainland India. At the same time, I thought about the opportunities back home and I saw a lot of doors waiting to be knocked open, yet not convincing enough to hold me back as the ground situation and the much needed peaceful environment for whatever entrepreneurship venture I thought of was but still a distant dream.

Whispering a prayer for myself and my family members back home, I remembered my family’s prayer for me as I said a little prayer for all those fleeing , or holding back in cities marked as ‘dangerous’ at the time. Above all, I prayed that this Diaspora blues would soon end.